What is surrender on the twin flame journey? How do we do it?

The twin flame journey is, ultimately, a journey back to the truth of who you are. It’s a process designed to free you from the pain and programming carried through lifetimes. Whether you believe you’ve met your twin or not, if you’re reading this, you are on the journey.

The road to conscious partnership isn’t a race, it takes time, patience, discipline, and discernment. Trust that your twin is progressing too, even if you’re not in direct contact. You already have everything you need to navigate this journey.

Have faith in yourself. You know what you need to do and how to move toward a happy, fulfilled outcome. Whenever you feel stuck, remember, the answers are always within you. If you need help, simply ask yourself for guidance. You’re always being led, and everything happening is for your highest good.

These are lessons I’ve been taught and guided on. However, I don’t claim to know everything - I might be completely wrong. The only true answers come from within you. Trust yourself. What’s meant for you will find you. If something isn’t, let it go and move on.

Now, here's what I've learned about Surrender, based on my own experience:

Words on a blue background The challenge is to let go. — Surrender

Surrender on the twin flame journey isn’t about giving up on your twin or the connection; it’s about releasing control, letting go of attachment to outcomes, and trusting in the divine process. It’s that moment when you stop gripping so tightly to how you think union should look and instead turn inward. Focus on your own healing, growth, and alignment.

What Surrender Is:

Letting go of obsession – Instead of constantly analysing their actions or wondering what they’re thinking, bring the focus back to yourself. For example, if you're scrolling through their social media to see what they’ve been up to, stop. Instead, go for a walk, journal, or try something creative like painting. Refocus your energy on nourishing your own soul.
Releasing expectations – You stop expecting them to return, to realise something, or to behave a certain way. You detach from the when and how. For instance, instead of worrying about when they’ll reach out, plan something fun for yourself - maybe even something you've always wanted to do but kept putting off. This shows you that your life is already whole, with or without them.
Trusting the divine plan – You recognise that if this connection is meant to materialise in the physical, it will - when both of you are ready. You might have a moment where you feel overwhelmed by longing. During those times, remind yourself, “If it's meant to be, it will be,” and then spend some time connecting with people you love or engaging in an activity that makes you feel at peace.
Shifting from lack to wholeness – You stop feeling like something is missing and realise you were never incomplete in the first place. Next time you feel a void, instead of focusing on what’s missing, write down five things that make you feel fulfilled right now. Maybe it's your favourite book, a hobby you love, or simply being in nature. This will bring you back to your truth: you are whole.

How Do You Surrender?

Face Your Wounds – Every time you feel pain, rejection, or longing, see it as an invitation to look deeper. What is this showing you about your own unhealed parts? Let’s say you feel rejected after they don’t respond. Instead of spiralling into sadness, take a step back and ask yourself: “What part of me feels unworthy right now?” Then, lovingly tend to that part of yourself, whether through journaling, meditation, a comforting self-care ritual, or something that will make you feel supported and loved. Give yourself your undivided attention.
Detach with Love – Let them be on their journey without needing them to act a certain way to make you feel secure. This doesn’t mean being distant or cold; it just means not needing them to be anything they’re not. For example, if you find yourself waiting for them to act in a specific way, simply acknowledge that you’re choosing to focus on your own self-love and growth instead. You can even set a reminder on your phone to check in with yourself and how you’re doing every day, rather than constantly checking on them.
Find Your Centre – Connect with yourself - whether through meditation, creativity, movement, or anything that grounds you. For example, each morning, take 10 minutes to sit quietly, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Or, if you’re more active, try yoga or a brisk walk in nature. Let these moments become anchors in your day to centre your energy and reconnect with your true essence.
Trust the Process – Know that separation isn’t punishment; it’s preparation. Everything happening is guiding you back to yourself. If you feel separated or far from your twin, take it as an opportunity to deepen your connection with yourself. When you feel triggered or upset, instead of thinking “Why are they not here?” ask yourself: “How can I be here for me right now?” This shift in perspective makes the process feel more nurturing rather than punitive.
Live Your Life Fully – The journey isn’t about waiting for them; it’s about stepping into your highest self. For example, instead of spending your days worrying about the future, take a class you’ve always wanted to try, or pick up a hobby that lights you up. The more you immerse yourself in living fully, the more you align with the energy that will draw your twin back to you, if that’s meant to happen.

Practical Steps for Surrender:

Accept how you feel. It’s okay to feel love, longing, anger, or frustration. These emotions are valid and part of your human experience. Example: If you feel angry because they’ve pulled away, allow yourself to feel that anger. Maybe you take a moment to write it out or let it out in a safe space, like through physical movement (a good old stomp around the house works wonders).
Accept what you believe. Even if the concept of twin flames feels crazy to you, allow yourself to believe it anyway. Even if you’re not sure whether you’re truly on the twin flame path, trust what you feel. For instance, if you get a flash of intuition that your twin is thinking about you, trust that feeling and give yourself permission to believe it, even if others doubt it.
Accept WHAT IS. It’s vital to accept the current reality. For example, if they’re not showing up the way you’d like, look at what’s actually happening, not what you wish was happening. If you’ve been waiting for them to change, consider what you can do to change yourself first. Sometimes we’re afraid to face the truth, but acceptance is the first step toward healing.
Accept that this is bigger than you. Sometimes, you have to let go of the idea that you can control everything. Example: You may want your twin to contact you right now, but you can’t make them reach out. Release the need for control. Trust that the universe has a bigger plan at work, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
Accept that this is happening FOR you. Trust that everything is happening for your highest good, even when it feels painful. Example: If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself, “What am I supposed to learn from this?” Even moments of frustration can lead to big breakthroughs if you’re open to seeing them as stepping stones on your path.

Surrender is freedom. It’s the moment you release the suffering that comes from clinging to what you think should be and instead open yourself to what is. It’s not about loving them less; it’s about loving yourself more. And in that space of radical self-love and acceptance, that’s when the magic happens, the shift begins.

So, be gentle with yourself as you work through each layer. Surrender isn’t a one-time event - it’s a practice. Each day, each moment, you’re choosing surrender. And in doing so, you’re stepping into the most empowered version of yourself. Trust that you’re on the right path.

If you'd like to learn more about how to love yourself - another essential part of the journey - read on here.

Surrender isn’t about getting your twin back. It’s about getting yourself back. And once you have that, you’ll realise that was always the point.

If you’re struggling with this, you’re not alone. Surrender isn’t something we just ‘get’ overnight - it’s a process, and sometimes, we need a little guidance along the way. If you feel like you’re stuck, lost, or just need someone to help you make sense of it all, I’m here.

I offer Twin Flame Mentorship, where you get ongoing monthly message support—so you don’t have to figure this out alone. And if you’d like to see what The Gods have to say about your journey, my Twin Flame Astrology Reading can help bring clarity to where you are and where you’re headed.

If you feel called to it, you can find all the details here. No pressure, just support if and when you need it.

🦋