For anyone who has stepped a toe into the world of spiritual practice or is on a quest to better themselves, there is always a lot of talk about doing 'the work', but what is 'the work' and how do you 'do' it?
work
NOUN
In this case the 'work' is applied to the self and to the act of 'becoming one's true self'.
It's helpful to bring in Carl Jung and his concept of individuation....
The Alchemy of Becoming: The Self-Work
Work. A word that tastes of sweat and long hours, of hands worn raw against the edges of effort. A thing done to survive, to build, to create.
But what of the work done within? The chiselling away of falsehoods, the excavation of wounds, the slow, deliberate art of becoming? That work - the work of the soul - is the most relentless, the most profound. It asks everything of you. It is Carl Jung’s great opus: individuation, the painstaking process of becoming whole. It is grief and liberation. It is meeting yourself, fully, without flinching.
But why do it? Because without it, you live at the mercy of the past. Because healing isn't just about relief - it’s about reclamation. It’s about stepping into life with clarity, with wholeness. To love without losing yourself. To live without the weight of what was dictating what will be.
And for those walking the path of twin flames, self-work is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Self-work isn’t optional - it’s the foundation. The relationship itself, whether close or distant (in union or in separation), is only the mirror. And so, if you are willing, if you are brave, here is a map. But know this: the journey is not linear. You will return to these steps again and again, each time peeling back another layer, each time meeting a deeper version of yourself.
A note: This is written from my experience - the journey I have walked and what I have learned along the way. My path is unique to me, just as yours is unique to you. If this doesn’t resonate, move on. Find your own way. We are all here to learn discernment, and we each process in different ways.
This isn’t about following my truth - it’s about remembering that you have the wisdom within you to lead yourself to where you need to go. Don’t take my word for it. Listen to yourself. This is simply here in case it helps, in case it gives you a few clues of where to start and what to do.
The Steps
Step 1: Acknowledge the Need for Healing
The wound is where the light enters, says Rumi. But first, you must see the wound. Strip away the distraction, the denial, the stories told to numb the ache. What hurts? Where do you shrink? Where do you rage? This is your starting point.
Step 2: Peel Back the Layers
You are not who you were told to be. You are not your trauma. You are not the sum of the wounds you have endured. So peel back the layers - the conditioned responses, the inherited fears, the roles played for acceptance. Who are you beneath the masks? The answer will shake you, but it will also set you free.
Step 3: Cultivate Unconditional Love
Look into the mirror - not just at your face but into your soul. Love what you see, even when it’s raw, even when it’s ugly. Your twin flame reflects all of it back to you: the divine, the wounded, the hidden. Love yourself through it. This is the hardest thing you will ever do.
Step 4: Illuminate the Shadows
Carl Jung whispered, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." So bring a lantern. Find the ghosts pulling your strings. Uncover the grief left unattended, the desires you were told to repress, the patterns keeping you small. Name them. Own them. Integrate them. This is how you stop running in circles.
And don’t just look in your mind - look in your body. The body holds what the mind forgets. If you can’t name the wound, look for it in your shoulders, in your gut, in the tension behind your ribs. Breathe into it. Let it speak.
Step 5: Transformative Reflection
Nothing changes without witness. Watch yourself grow. Acknowledge the places where old wounds no longer dictate your choices. Celebrate the moments when you choose differently, speak truthfully, stand unshaken. Take note: this is becoming.
Step 6: Reveal Your Pure Self
Vulnerability is the bravest act of all. To stand unguarded, unpolished, unafraid of rejection—that is power. Let yourself be seen. Not the version curated for approval, but the real, messy, magnificent you.
Step 7: Dive into Unconditional Love
It is not a destination. It is a practice. Loving yourself without condition, without pretence. Loving your twin flame not as possession, but as a soul walking beside you. Releasing expectations. Releasing control. Loving for the sake of love itself.
Step 8: Embrace Fearless Communication
Say what you mean. Say it with kindness, with courage, with the certainty that your truth matters. Fearless communication does not mean harshness; it means honesty, spoken from the heart, without attachment to the response.
Step 9: Learn from Every Experience
Life is the teacher, and every moment is a lesson. Each challenge is an invitation to deepen, to refine, to realign. What did this heartbreak teach you? What did this longing reveal? What did this silence say? Listen closely, the answers are already there.
Step 10: Lead Back to the Truth
There is no final step. No moment where you ‘arrive.’ You are not a finished product; you are an unfolding. You will always be unravelling and rebuilding, remembering and forgetting, losing yourself and finding yourself again.
But healing isn’t just about breaking things down - it’s about weaving yourself back together. It’s about integration. About stepping into life as the person you’ve fought to become.
Return to yourself. Again and again and again. This is the work. This is the way.
And so, you walk forward. With open eyes, with steady hands, with a heart willing to burn for its own liberation.
The work is not easy. But then, nothing worth becoming ever is.
Know Thyself Through the Birth Chart: A Map to Your Deepest Self
Carl Jung analysed birth charts to gain deeper insight into the unconscious patterns of his clients, using astrology as a symbolic tool alongside his psychological work. Like Jung, I use the birth chart to uncover the deeper layers of the self - your shadow, your strengths, your purpose, and the hidden stories shaping your life.
What I Offer:
When you come to me for a birth chart reading, we embark on a journey to meet the real you - beyond conditioning, beyond what others have told you to be. Through the lens of astrology, we can explore:
✨ Your Shadow – The hidden aspects of yourself, the wounds that need healing, and the parts of you that long to be integrated. Your birth chart reveals your unconscious patterns, where you self-sabotage, what you repress, and where you project onto others. Through awareness, these shadows can become sources of power.
✨ Your Purpose – Why are you here? Your chart holds clues to your soul’s mission, the lessons you are meant to learn, and the gifts you are meant to offer. We look at your North Node, your Midheaven, and the unique interplay of planetary energies that guide your life’s path.
✨ Your Strengths & Weaknesses – Every birth chart is a dynamic balance of strengths and challenges. I help you understand what you naturally excel at and where your growing edges are. Instead of fighting yourself, you learn to work with your nature.
✨ Your Stories & Patterns – The chart shows the narratives that have shaped your life - ancestral, karmic, and personal. We uncover the stories that run beneath the surface, so you can decide whether they still serve you or if it’s time to rewrite them.
Why This Matters
Knowing yourself is not just an intellectual exercise, it’s a transformative process. When you understand your inner workings, you stop repeating old cycles unconsciously. You step into awareness, choice, and alignment.
Astrology doesn’t tell you who you are - it shows you the blueprint. You are the one who gets to build the life you want. My role is to help you read the map, decode the signs, and see yourself clearly, so you can navigate your journey with wisdom and intention.
Work With Me
If you are ready to see yourself in a new way - beyond surface-level astrology, beyond generic horoscopes - let’s go deep. A birth chart reading with me is not just about planets and signs; it’s about you - your life, your patterns, your purpose.
Let’s unlock the truth that has always been within you. Are you ready to meet yourself?
📍 Book a birth chart reading – In-person or Zoom.
📅 Availability:
In-person: Occasional Saturdays & Thursday evenings at Essential Therapies.
Zoom: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday evenings.
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A note on AI & my writing:
I use ChatGPT as a writing assistant—not as a writer. These are my thoughts, ideas, and words, shaped by my lived experience and deep love for self-work, self-awareness, the spiritual journey, and astrology. AI helps me refine, structure, and occasionally nudge me toward better phrasing, but the voice you’re reading is mine. I use it as a tool to help me put into words everything I believe is valuable in sharing my insights. Honesty matters to me, and this is simply one way I bring my thoughts to life.
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